


Team RWBY chatfic

by Waste7867



Category: RWBY
Genre: (maybe...), Bumbleby - Freeform, Crack Fic, F/F, Im bad at writing, Just shenanigans, Kinda, Swearing, Well not really, Whiterose, and also pyrrha and jaune, blake is ooc as hell, btw theres a lot of swearing, but like, canon pairings - Freeform, cursing, eventually, pyrrha doesnt die, ren and nora - Freeform, weiss is the queen of being petty, writer does not know how to update things properly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-14
Updated: 2017-12-16
Packaged: 2018-12-29 18:57:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12091329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Waste7867/pseuds/Waste7867
Summary: terrible title, i know, but i hope that doesn't discourage you because honestly i think its shit, but you might not! and hopefully my writing gets better, and it seems less... crack fic-yEnjoy!





	1. those damned chips

**Author's Note:**

> I HOPE Y'ALL LIKE THIS, BECAUSE I DON'T, BUT YEAH!!!
> 
> enough yelling at my precious readers! i hope you enjoy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> edit: got rid of some mistakes, probably still a few but whatever, I suck at writing anyways.

Tuesday 4:35pm  
“Red” entered “yang is an idiot”

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : can we change the chat name yet?

 **Weiss Schnee** : No.

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : :( :( :(

 **Weiss Schnee** : Not until you buy me another bag of lemon chips

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : but I would need to fly All the way to vale to grab a bag

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : then I would have to fly All the way back

 **Weiss Schnee** : Too bad then.

 **Weiss Schnee** : Maybe you should have thought about that when you were binging on the whole bag

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

 **Red** : I lose my phone for a day and you all just go and wreck everything

 **Weiss Schnee** : Ruby

 **Weiss Schnee** : Hello.

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : RUBY

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : THE LIGHT OF MY LIFE

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : MY FAVORITE PERSON ON THIS PLANET

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : THE NICEST PERSON I WILL EVER KNOW

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : MY DARLING SISTER

 **Red** : I’m not changing the name

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : I fucking hate this family

 **Weiss Schnee** : yang!

 **Weiss Schnee** : language!

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : *sticks out tongue*

 **Eagleone** : Owo Whats this???

 **Weiss Schnee** : Blake…

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : omg

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : Blake, I love you

 **Red** : what?

 **Eagleone** : don’t look it up

 **Red** : ???

 **Red** : I HAVE to look it up now.

 **Weiss Schnee** : ruby no.

 **Red** : im walking down the hall with team jnpr, and jaune just looked over my shoulder and he looks so disappointed

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : PFFFFFFFFF

 **Eagleone** : oh….

 **Red** : I hate this chat

 

_Tuesday 5:15_

 

 **Flaminhotcheetos**   **changed chat name yang is an idiot to i hate this chat – ruby 2017**

 **Weiss Schnee** : what did I say

 **Flaminhotcheetos** **sent photo**

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : you were saying ;)

 **Weiss Schnee** : …

 **Weiss Schnee** : wrong flavor

 **Red** : …

 **Eagleone** : …

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : aw fuck

 **Weiss Schnee** : yang….

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : ;(

 

**Red changed chat name i hate this chat ruby – 2017 to let yang say fuck**

**Flaminhotcheetos** : ruby

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : the one and only person who could ever understand me

 **Red** : I gotchu boo

  
_Tuesday 5:28 – Team jnpr chatroom_

 

 **Chaoticgood** : where is everyone??

 **Lie_ren** : I’m in the kitchen.

 **Jauneyboy** : im sitting in the dorm

 **Glad-iator** : Training.

 **Jauneyboy** : you’re practically always training

 **Glad-iator** : practi(ce)ally.

 **Chaoticgood** : did pyrrha just…

 **Jauneyboy** : :0

 **Chaoticgood** : *single tear falls down my face*

 

_Tuesday 5:40 – let yang say fuck_

 

 **Red** : why is pyrrha so great?

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : she is, but why are you saying that now

 **Weiss Schnee** : do we need a reason? :)

 **eagleone** : don't use the smiley face weiss.

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : we don’t, just curious as to why shes being brought up

 **Red** : shes just…

 **Red** : youknow?

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : tru

**Red sent a photo**

**Flaminhotcheetos** : YOU GUYS GOT SLUSHIES WITHOUT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **Red** : yeah?

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : FUCKING FITE ME SCRUB

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : ILL KNOCK YOUR CHOMPERS OUT

 

**Red disconnected from let yang say fuck**

**Flaminhotcheetos** : dammit

 **weiss schnee** : you are probably the most two faced person ive ever met

 

_Tuesday 6:03_

 

**Weiss Schnee added eagleone to new chat!**

**Weiss Schnee named chat room black & white**

**Eagleone** : original name

 **weiss schnee:** shut up and listen 

 **Weiss Schnee** : okay…

 **Weiss Schnee** : I have a question

 **Eagleone** : go ahead

 **Weiss Schnee** : but uh

 **Weiss Schnee** : can you not tell yang or ruby

 **Eagleone** : uh… okay?

 **Eagleone** : okay, then I won’t tell ruby or yang

 **Weiss Schnee** : you know when ruby was talking about pyrrha…

 **Weiss Schnee** : well… I don’t know why but I felt kind of weird about that…

 **Weiss Schnee** : I know that you three have friends outside of this team, but I just felt a little weird about it

 **Weiss Schnee** : she was so positive about her

 **Weiss Schnee** : and that’s great, but I felt….

 **Weiss Schnee** : ….

 **Weiss Schnee** : I guess I felt jealous

 **Eagleone** : Never thought I’d hear weiss Schnee talking about how she’s jealous of another girl

 **Weiss Schnee** : SHUT

 **Eagleone** : lol, sorry weiss

 **Weiss Schnee** : did I just hear Blake belladonna say “lol”

 **Eagleone** : Touché…

 **Weiss Schnee** : god… you’ve been spending too much time with yang

 **Weiss Schnee** : but what I was going to say was

 **Weiss Schnee** : do you… think ruby likes pyrrha

 **Eagleone** : weiss

 **Eagleone** : I hate to deflect a question with a question

 **Eagleone** : but why would you care if she did?

 **Weiss Schnee** : I

 **Weiss Schnee** : I don’t know… I guess I just want to know?

 **Eagleone** : even though I don’t know, I don’t think it would be my place anyway

 **Weiss Schnee** : …

 **Eagleone** : you’re gonna have to ask ruby that

 **Eagleone** : but now I have a question I need to ask

 **Eagleone** : weiss, do you like ruby…

**Weiss Schnee left black & white**

Eagleone: Checkmate.

Eagleone: she was right, too much time with yang…

  
_Tuesday 6:09 – let yang say fuck_

 

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : where the hell did everyone go?

 **Eagleone** : I was reading

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : well….

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : im not surprised about that.

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : actually that was more pointed at weiss.

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : she usually starts nagging at me about my  _incompetence_ by now

 **Weiss Schnee** : hello.

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : she speaks!

 **Weiss Schnee** : that flavor better be good, I really need it

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : my point has been made

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : and yes, I actually checked to see if they were good

 **Eagleone** : oh no.

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : and they were quite particularly tasty

 **Weiss Schnee** : you _what_

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : um…

 **Eagleone** : oh yang….

 **Eagleone** : yang why?

 **Weiss Schnee** : why would you even

 **Weiss Schnee** : _consider_ that

 

 

 

_Tuesday 6:11 Flaminhotcheetos added eagleone to new chat!_

 

**Flaminhotcheetos named chat bumbleBY**

 

 **Eagleone** : your pun sucks

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : wanna know what else would suck

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : my actual death!

 **Eagleone** : sure, doesn’t make your pun suck any less

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

 **Eagleone** : but you’re over exaggerating

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : blake….

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : buddy ol pal….

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : it was nice knowing you ;(

 **Eagleone** : I’m honestly not sure if that’s a winking sad face or crying face

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : both ;(

 

_Tuesday 6:17 let yang say fuck_

 

 **Weiss Schnee** : where are you, you massive loser

 **Weiss Schnee** : yang

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : had to turn off my phone for landing

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : weiss?

 **Weiss Schnee** : **_what_**

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : I’m sorry.

 

**Red connected to let yang say fuck**

 

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : dammit ruby

 **Red** : what??

 **Red** : oh Nm…….

 **Weiss Schnee** : …

 **Weiss Schnee** : what

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : I’m sorry weiss.

 **Red** : if I was told yang said those three words a year ago I would 100% not believe it

 **Red** : honestly I don’t know if I believe it right now

 **Eagleone** : ruby

 **Red** : sorry.

 **Weiss Schnee** : uh….

 **Weiss Schnee** : I???

 **Weiss Schnee** : what???

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : im really inconsiderate sometimes, im sorry

 **Weiss Schnee** : uh… I

 **Weiss Schnee** : accept your apology

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : are you still gonna yell at me?

 **Weiss Schnee** : yes

 **Weiss Schnee** : but ill be less harsh

 **Red** : honestly can’t believe that statement either

 **Weiss Schnee** : SHUT

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : lololol

 **Eagleone** : surprisingly not the first time I’ve heard that today

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : that’s what she said.

 **Weiss Schnee** : ALL OF YOU

 **Red** : lolol

 

 **Red** : anyways, I reconnected to tell y’all i’m coming back to the dorm

 **Weiss Schnee** : “y’all”?????????????????????????????

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : ruby…

 **Red** : I thought it was a good choice of words at the time

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : It wasn’t

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : welp

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : I am back currently

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : I am ready to be murdered with words

 **Eagleone** : should I stay at the library or not?

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : YOU’RE NOT AT THE ROOM?

 **Eagleone** : ill take that as a yes?

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : nononononononono I need mental support

 **Weiss Schnee** : you’ll need physical too.

 **Red** : I can run?

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : no

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : youve got pyrrha with you

 **Red** : oh.

 **Red** : okay?

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : I’ll see you all on the other side

 **Red** : *salutes patriotically*

 **Weiss Schnee** **went idle**

**Flaminhotcheetos went idle**

 

_Tuesday 6:23_

 

 **Red** : oh gosh….

 **Red** : I hear yelling…

 **Eagleone** : is she okay?

 **Red** : oh…

 **Red** : she’s fine (???)

 **Eagleone** : questionable?

 **Red** : yeah….

 **Red** : she’s like…

 **Red** : sitting on your bed, and she looks…

 **Red** : very scared

 **Red** : I just knocked, they noticed me

 **Red** : yang is definitely S H O O K

 **Eagleone** : …

 **Red** : weiss just stormed into the bathroom, and I hear the shower

 **Red** : okay wow that was weird.

 **Eagleone** : was weiss yelling at yang that entire time?

 **Red** : I don’t know, ill ask yang…

 **Red** : uh…. yup

 **Eagleone** : you know what; I think I’ll come back now

 **Eagleone** **went idle**

 **Red** : wow, not sure if yang is a great role model or a terrible one

 **red:** either way she's shookith currently

 **red:** why am i talking to my self :)

 **Red** **went** **idle**


	2. still better than "mom"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they go to vale

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AIGHT... so i guess it hasn't been 7 months now, so that's good  
> but also i'd like to not be this late on an update
> 
> but anyways, hope you enjoy.

_Saturday 10:38am let yang say fuck_

**Red:** hey yang I forgot to ask you yesterday but next time you’re in vale can you pick up some takis for me?

 **Flaminhotcheetos:** lolno

 **red:** I KNEW YOU’D FUCKING SAY THAT AND THAT IS WHY I RAISE YOU THE QUESTION

 **red:** DO YOU REMEMBER THAT TIME THAT YOU FUCKING NUKED OUR TOILET WITH A BAG OF FIRECRACKERS

 **Flaminhotcheetos:** GOD FUCKING DAMMIT RUBY I THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME

 **Red:** WELL IF YOU DON’T GET ME THOSE DAMMED CHIP/ROLL/WHATEVERTHEFUCK THINGS I WILL FUCKING TELL DAD, AND NEXT TIME YOU FUCKING SEE HIM YOU WILL ACTUALLY DIE

 **Flaminhotcheetos:** FINE!

 **Red:** thank you boo xo

 **Flaminhotcheetos** : yeah fuck you too

 

**Weiss schnee reconnected**

**Weiss schnee:** SO THAT’S WHY

 **Weiss schnee:**  WE HAVE A NEW TOILET LID

 **Flaminhotcheetos:** it’s a completely new toilet how did you only notice the lid?

 **Weiss schnee:** I didn’t _just_ think of the lid

**Flaminhotcheetos:**

**Weiss schnee:** dammit yang…

 **red:** hey guys?

**Eagleone has reconnected**

**Red:** what’s ninjas of love?

 **Eagleone:** fuck.

**Eagleone has disconnected**

**Flaminhotcheetos:** FBSUIDFUISDGFSGDUYFGSDYUF

 **Weiss schnee:** what _is_ ninjas of love about…

 **Flaminhotcheetos:** OH GOD NOOOOOOooooo

 **Red:** dammit now my interest has been piqued

 **Red:** im looking it up

 **Flaminhotcheetos:** OH MY FUCKING GOD I WILL KILL YOU IF YOU FUCKING LOOK THAT UP

 **Red:** now im definitely looking it up

 **Flaminhotcheetos:** look it up and I wont get you takis

 **Red:** then I’ll tell dad

 **Flaminhotcheetos:** FUCK

 **Flaminhotcheetos:** GOD IM A BAD INFLUENCE

 **Weiss schnee:** don’t look it up rub y

 **Red:** what?

 **Red:** why…

 **Weiss schnee:** it’s smut

 **Flaminhotcheetos:** WEISS

 **Red:** whats smut?

 **Flaminhotcheetos:**  weiss i hate you

**Weiss schnee has disconnected**

**Red:** whata girl

 **Flaminhotcheetos:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) "what a girl" - ruby to weiss 2017

 **Red:** shut up

 **Red:** what is smut

 **Flaminhotcheetos:** just look it up or something you dipshit

 **Red:** but i don't want tooo.....

 **Flaminhotcheetos:** tough shit, i'm not giving you "the talk" about the word smut

 **Red:** ughhhh god what use are you then....

 **red:** yang

 **red:** yang

 **red:** yang

 **red:** yang

 **red:**  yang

 **red:**  yang

 **red:** yang

 **red:**  yang

 **red:** okay you're not responding, fuck you

 

 

_11:14am_

 

 **Flaminhotcheetos:** WHER E IS THE IC EQUEEN IM GONNA FUCKING KILL HER OH MY GOD

 **Red:** what?

 **Flaminhotcheetos:** SHE FUCKING TOLD NEPTUNE TO GO AFTER ME BECAUSE SHE WASN’T INTERESTED

 **Flaminhotcheetos:** JESUS I SWEAR I WILL FIND AND KILL YOU YOU TINY BASTARD

 **Red:** woah yang “bastard” is a little harsh

 **Flaminhotcheetos:** shut the fuck up ruby

 **Flaminhotcheetos:** ANYWAYS, IF YOU SEE THE TINY SHIT

 **Flaminhotcheetos:** @ ME

 **Red:** I ain’t getting involved in this

 **Flaminhotcheetos:** RUBY THIS LIL SHIT TURNED THE BLUEHAIRED OCEANMAN DOUCHEBAG MY WAY

 **Flaminhotcheetos:** THIS GUY IS ON A NEW LEVEL OF DOUCHEBAGGERY

 **Red:** maybe for _you_ , but that guy isn’t _that_ bad

 **Red:** when he finally gets it, he gives up in a snap

 **Flaminhotcheetos:** YOU’RE GAY THOUGH, IM BI HE WON’T GET IT

 **Red:** touche…

 **Flaminhotcheetos:** IM PISSED AT WEISS STILL

 **Flaminhotcheetos:** I WILL BEAT HER UP

 **Red:** okay yang! You’re starting to borderline on harassment charges

 **Flaminhotcheetos:** nah, im just joking, she’d kill me before I even get a hit in

 **Flaminhotcheetos:** plus, she cares to much about you to do that

**Red:**

**Red:** ehat

 **Red:** yng no

 **Flaminhotcheetos:** Oooooh~

 **Flaminhotcheetos:** _Weiss cares about you ;)))))))_

**Red: SHUT THE ACTIVE FUCK UP**

**Flaminhotcheetos:** _wt????slkdhfioshdfuihsuiof ACTIVE?_

 **Flaminhotcheetos:** _whathu the fuck???????? Im fuckoing aliguhting_

**Red: TALK SHIT. GET HIT**

**Flaminhotcheetos: YOU’RE LIKE A FUCKING GARDEN GNOME**

**Red: osdihfdsiohgidosfhgiodsfgiodsfhgiosdhgiodsfgihodsf**

**Red has gone idle**

**Flaminhotcheetos has been logged off of beacon messenger automatically**

_12:30pm_

**Eagleone has reconnected**

**Eagleone:** oh my god?

 **Eagleone:** what happened while I was away?

 **Eagleone:** I kept getting notifications…

**Weiss schnee has reconnected**

**Weiss schnee:** what?

 **Weiss schnee:** where is everyone

 **Eagleone:** no idea, but it looks like things escalated really quickly

 **Weiss schnee:** -_-

 **Weiss schnee:** how I missed this

**red has reconnected**

**red:** whats done is done, I regret nothing

**Eagleone:**

**Weiss schnee:**

**Eagleone:**

**Weiss schnee:**

**Red:**

**Eagleone:** what?

**red sent a photo**

**Eagleone:**

**Weiss schnee:**

**Weiss schnee:** _dolt_

 **Red:** right back at ya ice queen

**Weiss schnee: what?**

**Eagleone:** siafiasdasd

 **Red:** whatchu laughin at dweeb

**Weiss schnee: who is this and what did you do to ruby**

**Red: im sorry, the old ruby can’t come to the phone right now**

**Eagleone:** ohyang…

**Red: why?**

**Red: oh cuz she’s dead**

**Red:** please excuse the stupid idiot who stole my phone

 **Red:** yang's phone uh.... got broken, so we’re going to vale to get it fixed

 **Weiss schnee:** why would you do that…

 **Red:** yang was being an idiot, and i was angry!

 **Weiss schnee:** what?

 **Red:** no more questions

 **Weiss schnee:** I hate this family sometimes

**Red: we’re your family awwwwwwwwwwwwwww**

**Weiss schnee: SHUT**

**Eagleone:** im going to vale too, lets get dinner

 **Red:** fuck yeah

 **Weiss schnee:** this is oddly surreal, I’m not entirely sure when one of you hands the other the phone

 **Red:** [y] fuck yeah

 **Red:** that help icequeen

 **Weiss schnee:** sure…

 **Red:** you comin with us weiss?

 **Weiss schnee:** I have classes too you know, and unlike you _neanderthals_ , I think ahead when it comes to homework

 **Weiss schnee:** but _if_ I do come, I suggest Filippi's

 **Red:** you always suggest Filippi’s

 **Weiss schnee:** _they have good food_

 **Red:** okay but we have it too often

 **Weiss schnee:** You. Can. Never. Have. Too. Much. Filippi’s

 **Red:** _Weiss believe it or not_

 **Red:** _you can’t survive just off of mediocre pizza_

**Weiss schnee: MEDIOCRE**

**Weiss schnee: THEY ARE NOT """""MEDIOCRE"""""""""**

**Red:** anyways! You might not come to vale right!

 **Weiss schnee:** I SURE AS HELL AM NOW

 **Red:** OW RUBY JUST PUNCHED MEEEEEAKJFSN

 **Red:**  FILIPPI’S HAS REALLY GOOD PIZZA FUCK YOU YANG

 **Red:** [y] ruby has bad taste in food

 **Weiss schnee:** I AGREE WITH RUBY WHOLE HEARTEDLY

 **Red:** wholeheartedly eh?

 **Weiss schnee:** oh, shut the fuck up

 **Red:**!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **Red:** WEISS SCHNEE, YOU JUST SWORE

 **Weiss schnee:** crap…

 **Red:** getting harsh with that language Weiss, I’m gonna have to put you in a corner if you continue this scrutiny

 **Weiss schnee:** now I really hate this family

 **Red:** love you too Weiss~

 **Weiss schnee:** ugh…

 **Red:** anyways, we’re gonna be gettin mama a phone pretty soon

 **Weiss schnee:** never call yourself that again

 **Red:** why? Makes you uncomfortable?

 **Weiss schnee:** yes.

 **Eagleone:** im on my way to the aircraft

 **Weiss schnee:** wait for me

 **Red:** Ooh~?

 **Weiss schnee:** shut up yang

 **Red:** the weissicle is coming with us apparently

 **Weiss schnee:** you know what nevermind blake

 **Red:** wait nO

 **Red:** I ALREADY TOLD RUBY YOU WERE COMING

 **Red:** SHE’LL BE SO DISAPPOINTED

 **Weiss schnee:** ugh….

 **Weiss schnee:** fine.

 

_1:35pm_

 

 **Eagleone:** me and “weissicle” are on just getting off the aircraft

 **Weiss schnee:** call me that again and yang won’t be the only one getting a replacement phone

 **Red:** Weiss cold

 **Weiss schnee:** I SWEAR YANG

 **Red:** btw we’re almost done

 **Red:** I’m getting the good good too

 **Weiss schnee:** “good good”?

 **Red:** some sick merch

 **Red:** a lit cover, one of those stupid things that let you hold it better or something

 **Red:** that type of shit

 **Eagleone:** very eloquently put yang

 **Red:** why thank you Blake~!

 **Red:** I’m bowing currently

 **Weiss schnee:** we’re still getting Filippi’s right?

 **Weiss schnee:** because otherwise I swear I’m gonna go insane sitting through this

 **Red:** _otherweiss_

 

**Weiss schnee has gone idle**

 

 **Red:** OH COME ON, SHE TOTALLY STEPPED INTO THAT ONE

_2:09pm_

 

**Red added YANGXIAOLONG**

 

 **YANGXIAOLONG:** sweet.

 **Red:** I can finally rest knowing yang isn’t spamming puns on my account

 **Eagleone:** little bit late for that

 **Red:** fuck.

 **YANGXIAOLONG:** Bad Ruby! No swearing! You’re like four.

 **Red:** shut up _mom_

 **YANGXIAOLONG:** that’s right I am your mother

 **Red:** that’s weird and creepy yang, don’t

 **YANGXIAOLONG:** Tough shit, I’m all of y’alls mother now

 **Red:** are you our southern mom or something…

 **YANGXIAOLONG:** YES and I recon y’all need ta respect me more as your mother

 **Eagleone:** why’re you like this

 **YANGXIAOLONG:** HEY as your mother, you have no right ta ask such nonsensical questions

 **Eagleone:** god… yang.

 **YANGXIAOLONG:** AND NOW I AM GOD

 **Eagleone:** still better than “mom”

 **Red:** rt

 **YANGXIAOLONG:** WELL NOW AS GOD XIAO LONG, I WILL RAIN TERROR UPON THEE

 **Red:** ow…. Yang hit me

 **Eagleone:** why yang….

 **YANGXIAOLONG:** IT WAS MY RAIN OF TERROR… AND WRATH

 **Red:** _still better than “mom” at least_

 

**Weiss schnee has reconnected**

**Weiss schnee:** yang… we talked about this

 **YANGXIAOLONG:** you mentioned it once earlier today, AND you weren’t in the chat

 **Weiss schnee:** ugh… fine, you get a pass... for now

 **Weiss schnee:** btw way, we’re half way there

 **Weiss schnee:** but blake probably told you guys

 **Eagleone:** I did not

 **Weiss schnee:** well that solves that…

**YANGXIAOLONG changed name to god.**

**Weiss schnee:** pleasant…

**God.: BOW DOWN TO GOD EVERYONE**

**Red:** stop being like this

 **Weiss schnee:** why are you like this

 **Eagleone:** *bows*

 **God.:** (BLAKE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO GETS THIS JOKE)

 **Weiss schnee:** she isn’t actually bowing

 **God.:** that’s the point

 **Weiss schnee:** ha ha

 **Red:** pfffff…

 **God.:** **_ICE QUEEN LAUGHING_**

 **Weiss schnee:** I’m not actually laughing

 **God.:** STILL COUNTS

 **Weiss schnee:** god….

 **God.:** do you have a question my subject

 **Weiss schnee:** ugh.

_2:25pm_

**God.:** currently waiting in line for Filippi’s

 **Weiss schnee:** **_don’t order without me or you die_**

 **God.:** aight, guess we’ll just loiter outside for a bit

 **Eagleone:** as for us, we’re pretty close

  **God.:** _sick_!

 **Red:** gnarly!

 **God.:** _radical_!

 **Weiss schnee:** there is no way that ruby wrote that willingly

 **Red:** I did, out of irony, really weak irony, but irony none the less

 **God.:** booooo….

 **Red:** it sucks to be you

 **God.:** I’m god

 **Red:** fuck…

**God.: AS GOD AND YOUR MOTHER I BAN ALL CURSE WORDS RUBY, THERE WILL BE NO DISRESPECTING IN MY HOUSE**

**Red:** _noooooo_

 **Weiss schnee:** say any more and I burn one of your eyebrows

 **God.:** that’s really specific…?

 **Weiss schnee:** I’ll do it

 **God.:** all I was saying was that ruby is clearly a child of god, 

 **Red:** _but, I’m, really, not_

 **God.:** _that’s, why, it’s, funny, **ruby**_

 **Red:** tough shit yang

 **God.:** SWEAR JAR!

 **Red:** we don’t have a swear jar…?

 **God.:** **SWEAR JAR**

 **Weiss schnee:** FILIPIS HERE I COME

 **Eagleone:** iohsdfuashi

 **Red:** what?

 **Eagleone:** Weiss is running cureently

 **Red:** what?

 **God.:** PICS OR IT DIDN’T HAPPEN

**Eagleone has sent a photo**

**God.:** holy me…

 **Red:** holy god…?

 **God.:** shut up

 **Red:** we’ve seen Weiss run before guys, come on

 **God.:** _but that’s during action and shit, it’s not been photographed I think_

 **Red:** oh god…

 **God.:** whatsup

 **Red:** shut up

 **God.:** AAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **God.:** running  weis soh-yk holy hsitj

 **Red:** nice

 **Weiss schnee:** blake you’re slow

 **Eagleone:** …

 **God.:** what the fucl

 **Red:** you guys are honestly way too shocked for something so small

 **God.:** ruby you’re not being fun in this

 **Red:** It sucks to be you

 **God.:** >:P

 **Weiss schnee:** hurry up or we’re ordering without you blake

 **God.:** oh no you don’t you fickle icicle

 **Weiss schnee:** what.

 **God.:** you told us we’re not ordering with out you guys until you get here

 **Weiss schnee:** I told you, if you ordered without _me_ , I’d burn off your eyebrow

 **Red:** _Weiss cold_

 **Weiss schnee:** ugh…

 **God.:** what! You don’t hit her, but you hit me when I say shit like that

 **Weiss schnee:** that’s because ruby doesn’t deserve to be hit over a small pun, you tell way too many

 **God.:** _Weiss cold…_

 **God.:** _oouch…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aight, so that was a disaster
> 
> sEE YA IN 2018 MAYBE, BUT SINCE I LIVE INTHE USA I PROBABLY WONT BECUASE THE INTERNET IS ABOUT TO GO TO HELL AND BACK
> 
> BUT IF THINGS TURN OUT OKAY THEN YEAH
> 
> next time (if there is one) they all eat pizza and talk to jnpr over text (and ruby gets her takis)

**Author's Note:**

> welp, that was a mess... thanks for reading, i will see you in seven months (hopefully i will make something before that becomes a reality)


End file.
